Conveying Emotions

It has been a while since my last post. So much has happened in the past 4 years and how things have changed. There is so much to tell and be thankful for. For the first time, in a very long time, the thought of this site came to mind as I seek comfort in times of affliction.

In the past 4 years, the inevitable nature of life showed no mercy: lives were giveth and taketh away. Even till this day, I am still latching on to a deep sense of regret with a broken heart. Never in my lifetime would I ever imagine that I would be absent during those crucial moments; this was not how I'd imagine to part ways and if only time was in our favor. Some nights, we would have lengthy conversations until reality blends into dream. Upon realization, I sought solace in tears. There are just too many things left unsaid...

In the past few months, the call of solitude has brought upon the need for frequent self reflection. The struggle to maintain enthusiasm and focus has been difficult as of late. With growing moral conviction, self appreciation and capacity to appreciate others, I think I can do better as a person. And to the last advice that I've received from you, I give you my solemn word of honor that I will not disappoint you.

Symbols

The most peculiar dream in a long time...
For the first time in years, it meant something.
Deciphering you is like a disease; it wasn't easy, still isn't and I am not sure if I'm still even trying.

Now you've got me to decipher me.

Find Relief

Soulful Eyes

"People do not die for us immediately, but remain bathed in a sort of aura of life which bears no relation to true immortality but through which they continue to occupy our thoughts in the same way as when they were alive. It is as though they were traveling abroad."

- Marcel Proust

Hell yes.

This is actually a pretty good campaign production!

Losing One's Way

It's becoming harder than I thought.

Everytime I try, it becomes harder and it only gets worst. And so they say, every obstacle that passes or hinders your way serves as an experience for the better or as an opportunity. It feels like a disease crawling in and out of my system.

I'm pacing.

I'm running.

Apophis is gaining pace.

Just give me back my soul.

A tigress came to visit me one day and...

A new story unfolds each Chinese New Year.

This year's tale is by far the most shocking and eerie tale ever told in history.

At least, I think so... so far.

I am intrigued.

Thank you so much for all the liveliness and interesting facts.

And OH! Of course, not forgetting the DOUGH! Thank you so much!
Your generosity will be remembered through university text books and such...thank you for funding. =)

Aww

Seriously, Nat?

Social Smart

This kid is far out! O_O

In better health

Thanks dad.

Thanks mum.

[People first. Then money. Then things. -Suze Orman]

Down with the guns!

So many things are running across my mind, all mapped out on what I should do next. But the thing is I don't know where to start! I'm just jumping all our the place like a nutcase. On a side note, I've been eating a lot of nuts and dried fruit nuts or whatever you call it these couple of days... maybe that explains why I've been quite the nutcase lately.

Here is one to enlighten the day with from the Steven Appleby's Encyclopedia of Personal Problems (not really what you think it is, it's a fun book, really an all time favourite - though some may think it is a book full of rubbish):-


"ANTHROPOMORPHISM
Many people have the problem of attributing their pet cat or dog with human characteristics. I find it helpful to think of my family in animal terms. Why don't you try it?

My wife is a lioness - so you'd better watch out or she'll tear your head off!
Our kids are a goat and three chickens, so there's no shortage of milks and eggs in our house.
We wanted to try for a cockroach, but if we'd had a fourth chicken that would be too many.
We keep two pet humans who pay their way by amusing the children - Peck Jim's ear! How old is Patch in chicken years?
They've been 'done', of course, and are both rather fat - Yawn...Let's sleep all day!
And me? Well, I'm a stick-insect... - Hey, watch where you're standing! "




OH, OH!!
If you do spot a zombie that looks a lot like me, please don't shoot! It might just be me.

Dear friend

"I wish I could report that it's getting better, but unfortunately it isn't. It's hard, too, because we've started school again, and I can't go to the places where I used to go. And it can't be like it was. And I wasn't ready to say good-bye just yet.

To tell you the truth, I've just been avoiding everything.

I walk around the school hallways and look at the people. I look at the teachers and wonder why they're here. If they like their jobs. Or us. And I wonder how smart they were when they were fifteen. Not in a mean way. In a curious way. It's like looking at all the students and wondering who's had their heart broken that day, and how they are able to cope with having three quizzes and a book report on top of that. Or wondering who did the heart breaking. And wondering why. Especially since I know that if they went to another school, the person who had their heart broken by somebody else, so why does it have to be so personal? And if I went to another school, I would never have known Sam or Patrick or Mary Elizabeth or anyone except my family." (pp. 142)



"I didnt feel like reading that night, so I went downstairs and watched a half-hour-long commercial that advertised an exercise machine. They kept flashing a 1-800 number, so I called it. The woman who picked up the other end of the phone was named Michelle. And I told Michelle that I was a kid and did not need an exercise machine, but I hoped she was having a good night.

That's when Michelle hung up on me. And I didn't mind a bit." (pp. 122)

Love always,
Charlie



-The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky-

I feel blood pounding in my temples

"I had to run for the bus. It was probably all this dashing about and then the jolting and the smell of petrol and the glare of the sky reflecting off the road that made me doze off. I slept almost all the way. And when I woke up, I found myself cramped up against a soldier who smiled at me and asked me if I'd come far. I said, 'Yes' so as not to have to talk any more." (pp. 10)

"He told me first of all that people described me as being taciturn and withdrawn and he wanted to know what I thought of that. I answered, 'It's just that I never have much to say. So I keep quiet.'" (pp. 66)

-Excerpts from The Outsider by Albert Camus -

Antic Disposition

Enough damage is done. Its back to square one. I can't take this, I'm done.

=)

Grandpa =)

Reality Check, 1 2 3

For the past couple of days, I'm back to my old habits. Inevitable late nights.
Well, not really inevitable but I seem to make it seem that way. Most of the time, I spend my time stoning in front of the laptop screen. I don't even know what I'm doing. That's not all. Actually, there is a lot of work to be done that I've come to a point where I'm about to explode. You can ask me about my weekend or if you have already spoken to me online during the weekends, you'll very well know that I've been fussin' and complaining about the reports and assignments I need to rush seeing the due dates are coming really ...and I mean REALLY SOON!

Minutes ago, I was pretty much thinking about how I'll look like tomorrow morning... so I proceeded to ask my 'next-door-neighbour' in the living room.

Kat : Hey, do I look like shit...?
Ken: Yeah. You always look that way... ever since the day you were born...
Kat : *mumbles under breath*
Ken: *Laughs*

Today I learned that...

1. I've been staying at home for the past 48 hrs... spent 3/4 of the time in my room.
2. Monash, you should really GIVE ME A BREAK!

Expect me to look like a zombie tomorrow morning.

In the back of my head there's sweet misery

Everytime when something about durian(s) comes up in a conversation or when it is in sight, somehow it reminds me of grandpa... and that small tetris phone look-a-like gaming console. And all of a sudden, one of the most memorable conversation I had with Uncle Al few years back comes into mind. "Cruising with my peers" he says with his attempt to be the cool uncle and blend in with the younger ones. Those familiar faces again... I do still remember...

Humanthesizer

It's week 5 and that means '5 down, 7 more to go!'. I've never felt so much pressure put on me as compared to the past few semesters. Time is running short. However, in other news, everything has been going okay with just a few 'glitches' here and there. And thank you friend, I'm really trying hard not to give in to pressure. To whom it may concern, forgive me. Funny how pressure becomes stress. I just don't like to be pushed unless it's for my own good.


Today I learned...

1. that a humanthesizer exists! A humanthesizer is a combination of human + synthesizer. Who knew conductive paint can do such wonder. Calvin Harris, I'm just awed!
   
   
2. that a brand new Tiesto feat TnS song entitled 'Feel It In My Bones' just released three days ago. Not a big fan but it's not too bad...
   
   
3. that the Archie series love triangle has come to an end, finally! However, Archie chose to propose to Veronica instead of Betty which I think was totally uncalled for. Poor Betty Cooper...
   
   
4. that I've been going to the university without fail on Fridays just for talks.
   
   
5. that shit happens... (well, it's not something new but I'm constantly reminded of it on a daily basis)
   

Reconciling with an ol' friend, SS

Sesame Street

Smart move to get artistes to play along in the show.
Now you've got me, Sesame Street!







Here are some artistes I tune in to.
And Marlee Matlin =) well NOW, that is awesome...
Learning made easy.

CHEEZEEE PUFFSS !!!

Mention Cheese Puffs and I'm THERE.

Mmm...

On a serious note, how do oneself discover what really is one's arena? How do we know what we are good at? What is the purpose of our existance? I get really bitter about this quite often especially when my mind is not occupied. Where and what exactly is my 'arena'? That is the question.

What is our life? a play of passion,
Our mirth the musicke of division,
Our mothers wombes the tyring houses be,
When we are drest for this short Comedy,
Heaven the Judicious sharpe spector is,
That sits and markes still who doth act amisse,
Our graves that hide us from the searching Sun,
Are like drawne curtaynes when the play is done,
Thus march we playing to our latest rest,
Onely we dye in earnest, that's no Jest.

"On the Life of Man" by Sir Walter Raleigh

But I know one thing that is for sure. I love cheese puffs. o.0